I have those days when I just hate my mediocre life. I'm sure most of you have felt this at one time or another. For me it's that I see other people doing so well and talking about all the good times that quite simply I'm envious. I'm tired of always being so close yet not close enough. I know the last page so well. I just can’t see the first. So I just don’t start. People say that I have no life, because I'd rather stay home and drink than hang out with perfectly fine people(girls). I'm becoming a cynical bastard. I'm rude, even a bit of an asshole, to those girls that are attracted to me. Why? It's a valid question. I really don't have an answer. My friends, family, even complete strangers think that I'm just going through the "drinking anti-social" stage. You know? But I'm not going "through" a stage. I'm stuck right in the middle of one and I can't see a way out. It's an endless cycle. I just say "Come on out. We’ll both get right off of our heads and float up off the chair. We’ll go on vacation tonight under a sun of neon light. I almost love this town when i’m by your side so I’m putting this night down to bed. 'cause I was sitting at the bar hoping I was dead. You'd walk in the door and there'll be no more waiting no more. You melt all the ice in my head. You woke me from a long sleep and i’m almost back closer than ever to finding those secrets. If I told you the truth you wouldn’t like what i said. I get secrets at night but they don’t stay. I get secrets at night but then they go away. They'll fall off my lips into yours. I'll find them locked. Locked not like all those open doors. Forgive yourself in the morning when the day can see. But I need no forgiveness when my bed is empty."
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