Such as it is..

They say that there will come a time in life when everyhting comes together, when everything makes sense or when it doesn't have to make sense because your content with the answer you have. A point that you can look back on or look forward to and think this is as good as it gets, the happiest day of my life.
I've heard people use analogies such as "life is a roller coaster" or "life is a journey of valley floors and mountain peaks" but these do not envelope the idea that you have a certain amount of control of your life, "destiny."
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but where they were; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
Enjoy life.
Such as it is.

Door on the otherside of reason..

Sleep is like the unicorn. It is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.
Insomnia is the great murderer of sanity. My sanity.
At night in my bed I dwell on this plane between the walls in my room and the halls of the sandman's reality of dreams and nightmares.
Last night, to change my surroundings and to possibly be granted a few hours of gracious sleep, I slept on the couch in my living room. I remember putting the TV on mute, laying back and trying to fall asleep about 11pm. A few minutes later opening my eyes I had the strangest feeling that someone was at the front door. I didn't hear a sound or see a light or anything it was just a feeling. I went to the front door, unlocked and opened it. I looked out and there was nothing. Nothing unusual at all, just the wind howling through the courtyard of the apartment buildings. My mind groggy and entangled with the chimeras and specters of my imaginings, I closed the door, lay back down and close my eyes.
I must have fallen asleep, I woke with a start in cold sweat. The clock on the wall read 1:36am and again I had the feeling that someone or something was at the door. I went to the window by door to peer out to see if in fact my feeling could be confirmed and again nothing. I sat down for a minute to collect my thoughts and to reason this feeling logically. Not wanting to be a coward, I again open the door to confront whatever might be lurking by. Nothing. I walked out onto the balcony to take in the scene of the witching hour on Wilkins Drive. All was still and motionless as if it had held this pose for countless centuries. There was neither moon or stars to guide my clumsy footsteps down the stairs into the courtyard. The wind as cold as it was, seemed to blow right through my skin to chill my bones and dull my thoughts. Reaching the bottom step and losing my balance I slipped backward cracked my head against the staircase. Angrily I stood just in time to look up and see a large black bird take flight and squawk mockingly at my fall.
Damn bird.
I waddled back to the apartment, took a shot of nyquil, and put this strange night to bed.
I woke again at 4:30 and so here I sit doucumenting my maddness.

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her..

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't surprise me much because they all look alike. It's not like they are going to meet a really new, and great looking penguin someday.
I am becoming a cynic to this whole dating thing. I find myself having the exact same conversations with single, available women lately. Disclaimer: I am not saying that all girls are the same or that all single girls have the same personality, however I am saying that it seems to be infinitely more difficult to meet someone "unique" or "not so very unique" than say High School. I guess I'm finding more and more that it is probably not so much that girls and their personalities and/or looks are changing. It's more likely that my taste in women has become unrealistic, and impossible.
To be honest I'm not even sure what I'm looking for anymore, or that I ever was sure in the first place.

Back in the day..

I love Drag racing and just hot rodding in general. My Grandfather, Dad, and Uncles all drag raced and had/have hot rods. I practically grew up at the race track. I only wish that I'd been alive for the glory days of drag racing. Check these out.

Rolling Stone

Eight

Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other two percent have to generate their own sex and violence.
I, myself, grew up in a community of people that accepted whatever was given to them from their authority figure. We were taught that questioning authority is worse than falling victim to temptations. Television being the biggest controversy of my generation.
Recently I was reminded of an email sent to a friend of mine from a "minister" of this community. It was malicious and down right rude. He was using his soap box in this community to look down on everyone that did not line up with his personal religious standards. This man does not have a television.
The only fitting quote: "Karma's a bitch."