Forever Young

Remember the '80s man?

alphaville

A Clockwork Dan: The Journal of a delinquent: Friday July 14th 2000

I went to see Scary Movie with the lads tonight. It was a little weird lots of breasts though. Afterward a complete stranger kissed me as I was exiting the theater. Which took me by surprise as that doesn't usually happen to me when I leave a movie. She told me that she did it on a dare from her friends, who were giggling in the background, and I asked her if she'd have sex with me. She gave me her phone number and I gave her a wink. I probably won't call her though you never can tell what you'll catch at a movie theater. Ha! You heard that in sunday school didn't you! You plagiarizer you! Well they probably don't have the copyright anyway. After the theater excitment being bored as usual in this dumpy vine town I plotted to rob Val's Liquor store! An elaborate plan involving blood and carnage. (Val's where I'd buy beer at twice the normal price) It would have taught him a lesson ripping off minors of our fair community. I woosed out though and just stole a pack of gum. Besides if I shot Val where would I buy beer? And besides that where would I get a gun? Too many questions for this cool summer night. Maybe I should dare the chick from the theater to rob Val's. She'd do it.

There we were all in one place, A generation lost in space with no time left to start again.

They say in ramblings abroad that home is where the people that you love are. Some say home is where your mom lives. Or there is that ever popular "home is where your heart is." I think that may even be a song. The town I have grown up in has never been "home" to me. It may be that I have never felt that I belong here or it may be that this town lacks a community I can relate to. I've lived here for most of my short life. About 17 years I'd say. I've lived, worked, and loved in this town. The band I poured my youth into played open mics and shows around this town from one end to the other. I've had jobs full spectrum all over the town. My immediate family and even some cousins, aunts, and uncles live here in this town. Pretty much all of the girls that I've dated lived here at one time or another. So that said I can't say that the life I've lived here has been a bad one, but in past couple of years I've been feeling cramped inside the city limits. I want to feel the open road again as it was when I was younger. I need to brush off the dust of this sleepy town and go out into the world to find what I've been looking for, what has haunted my dreams. As the wise have said "A life not lived is a life not risked."

Inside of Love

Nada Surf

The death of an actress washed up and put away. Like an old friend that you smile at in the post office. She lays seeping, her body, she closed her eyes. Her wrists are soaking the carpet with a life time of sadness. If she would have thought; it would matter. That it would matter to you. The stain on the ceiling means so much these last moments of the end. The black spots claw at her picture of the world. The world that was sweet once upon a time.

"Ride into the sunset"

she says in her mind. The faintest smile of a memory caresses her thought.

"The love is all lost in a pill. They're on my mind."

Their name spins on a lazy susan. As counting hours for a knock on the door.

"When it comes I'll answer."

she says into the dimming light.

"It'll come tonight."

Defiant the phrase of denial permeates in the silent.

"So come on, come on tell me the difference between here and there? This time. I would span the years of falling in love again. If the years would span."

Years so few in between. The color will turn this around. Around the magazines, the movies they're all dead.

"For first time in years a reason to stay. Should have a reason stay."

A reason to lose what would not delay. What couldn't delay. Chance a life of gambling on the after. Life that is losing virtue of flavor. Virtue of dissonance.

"Virtue will come tomorrow or a day after. As I sleep alone."