My friend Brian has recently written and actually has been for awhile I suppose writing about the inconsistencies of the beliefs of the church that we grew up in. So after reading his posts I've done a lot of thinking recently on my feelings of religion and church. Most that I've tried so hard to hide from being public. I have come to the realization that 1. a man that is above question or doubt has put himself in a position to become corrupt. 2. A man himself cannot accurately judge reality without perspective. And so how can a man get perspective without counsel? Needless to say there are a lot of angry and confusing memories that cloud how I perceive the church. It has taken me a couple years to even get to a place where I'm "ok" with just attending a church again. I sometimes wonder if I can ever have a normal place in a community of believers. There have been so many times that I've wanted to just walk away from all communities that even loosely resemble that of my childhood. Though not to face my "hang ups" and outright anger isn't at all healthy or what I'd want in the long run.
1 comment:
I can resonate. Even at our current church I sometimes wonder whether or not another denominational style/tradition would be helpful to me since so much that is connected with our abusive Pentecostal background is brought back to life even in our more loving, caring Pentecostal-esque church. I basically stay where I am out of loyalty, but I know what you are saying.
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