There we were all in one place, A generation lost in space with no time left to start again.

They say in ramblings abroad that home is where the people that you love are. Some say home is where your mom lives. Or there is that ever popular "home is where your heart is." I think that may even be a song. The town I have grown up in has never been "home" to me. It may be that I have never felt that I belong here or it may be that this town lacks a community I can relate to. I've lived here for most of my short life. About 17 years I'd say. I've lived, worked, and loved in this town. The band I poured my youth into played open mics and shows around this town from one end to the other. I've had jobs full spectrum all over the town. My immediate family and even some cousins, aunts, and uncles live here in this town. Pretty much all of the girls that I've dated lived here at one time or another. So that said I can't say that the life I've lived here has been a bad one, but in past couple of years I've been feeling cramped inside the city limits. I want to feel the open road again as it was when I was younger. I need to brush off the dust of this sleepy town and go out into the world to find what I've been looking for, what has haunted my dreams. As the wise have said "A life not lived is a life not risked."

Inside of Love

Nada Surf

The death of an actress washed up and put away. Like an old friend that you smile at in the post office. She lays seeping, her body, she closed her eyes. Her wrists are soaking the carpet with a life time of sadness. If she would have thought; it would matter. That it would matter to you. The stain on the ceiling means so much these last moments of the end. The black spots claw at her picture of the world. The world that was sweet once upon a time.

"Ride into the sunset"

she says in her mind. The faintest smile of a memory caresses her thought.

"The love is all lost in a pill. They're on my mind."

Their name spins on a lazy susan. As counting hours for a knock on the door.

"When it comes I'll answer."

she says into the dimming light.

"It'll come tonight."

Defiant the phrase of denial permeates in the silent.

"So come on, come on tell me the difference between here and there? This time. I would span the years of falling in love again. If the years would span."

Years so few in between. The color will turn this around. Around the magazines, the movies they're all dead.

"For first time in years a reason to stay. Should have a reason stay."

A reason to lose what would not delay. What couldn't delay. Chance a life of gambling on the after. Life that is losing virtue of flavor. Virtue of dissonance.

"Virtue will come tomorrow or a day after. As I sleep alone."

Fill my empty room with the sun

I've been having strange dreams the past couple of nights. It usually starts with me walking down a hallway or so it sounds because I can't see the walls it's all completely dark. As I walk I can hear progressively louder what sounds like a party or large gathering of people talking and carrying on. The hall remains dark, but the sounds becomes so loud that it sounds as if I'm in the middle of the crowd. I pause and listen to see if I can discern what is being talked about, but all of the words don't seem to fit together in any logical order it's just random words. I continue down this hall of complete midnight until the sounds of the crowd fades to a dull roar then to an utter lack of sound. I travel further down this endless abyss of a hallway until I see a faint light. As if the sun were cresting the hills of the sleeping valley this light reaches for me and I walk toward it. The closer I get to the light I see that it's a window. A window peering outside of this mournful hallway and it's party of phantoms. As I approach the window I can see the ocean below it's sill and hear the waves breaking on the beach. This window above the ocean at the end of the hallway makes me feel lost and cold. I turn to look back down the hallway expecting to be greeted with the endless dark, but instead seeing a lighted room filled with people back in the distance apparently a party. Then I wake up. I can still see the dream and remember the feeling. An odd feeling. A feeling like standing on a tall bridge looking down at the water below and a gust of wind blowing the hat off of your head. For an instant when you see the hat falling you try to reach out and catch it but your hands grasp only air. This morning I wrote about this dream in my journal. I think it must mean something.

Salvation

Come on baby won't you show me what you got?

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein

Global warming one of the most widely spread theories across America today. That's right just a theory not a truth Al. It's more like inconvenient propaganda. It is being pounded into our heads without solid scientific evidence. Since when is it wrong to challenge scientific fact. Does anyone still think the the world is flat? Or has anyone had a grilled moon cheese sandwich lately.(sounds pretty grub by the way) Anyone who questions these conclusions is said to be blind to global events, but maybe we should do a little scientific footwork before we blame your SUV Mr. Gore. The Martians planet Mars is also experiencing "global warming" and it is theorized that other planets orbiting our sun Sol are not exempt from this phenomena. Sol has been experiencing the most violent solar cycle recorded. Massive solar flares a few short years ago blinding satelites and increased stresses on the earth aided in hurricanes and tsunamis. Mr. Gore please get off the internet and get to a confessional booth near you. Confession is good for the soul especially when concerning the apocalypse.

Testify!

It's right ouside YOUR door!